Today I saw a little boy sitting with his mom having lunch. His mom was easily delighted with his non-stop chatter about their day. He was waiting as patiently as a 5-year old can wait while mom finished her salad. Apparently salad takes longer than nuggets. What intrigued me was this mom's steady reveling in the moment, nodding and "yesing" and smiling and laughing. I'm sure she had somewhere else to be, something else to do... but it would wait. Her nest is considered full and she is loving it.
It made me think about my "empty" nest. Everyone says it's empty when the kids leave. To some degree, it has felt that way for me and my husband. But today... because I was eyewitness to a memory in the making, I've decided that empty nests aren't really empty. Many reasons come to mind, but I have three on my heart.
First, inside of me are 20+years of days that are filled with the faces of my family. I thanked God today for the ability to remember. Tapes of my 3 five-year-olds started to replay. Shanna and I making playdough cookies, reading together, eating McDonald's french fries... listening to her talk about "the yellow birds" at school, the bus ride, the I-can-do-it-myself's... Jonathon and I helping Mario rescue the princess from Bowser, jumping on the trampoline, talking about Mrs. Cathey's eyelashes and how his favorite subject at school was recess... Lucas charging me to walk the plank but watch out for sharks, promoting me to "mate" to his captain on the front porch ship... talking to and feeding "Bryan", watching movies together, and going for a snow-ice after school.
Tapes of driving them back and forth to school so that I could hear the laughter and excitement, the anger and frustration, getting a pulse on their friendships and their homework schedules. Dropping them off in my pajamas... yup... honking jingle bells with the horn and turning up Pavoratti on the stereo with the roof back on the car... starting 30 seconds before I stopped the car in the morning with a loud blessing ["The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.] - watching the eyes roll as they exited the vehicle as quickly as possible. Kneeling at their bedsides after they fell asleep and praying over them... sitting outside their bedroom doors and weeping over them as I prayed for them in their teens. Basketball and hockey, prom dresses and dates, suits and dates, watching courtships, healing break-ups, fighting rebellions, celebrating successes, applauding great friendships, overhearing my mistakes and rehearsing my apologies. Making room on my full-size bed for 3 lanky teenagers to one-by-one come in and just hang out and talk and laugh. Rooms full of sharp-minded debaters with strong opinions and well-constructed arguments... conversions, spiritual growth spurts and spiritual growing pains, God-moments... lots of God-moments.
My nest isn't empty because my children's lives have so fully touched mine - they never really leave.
Secondly, Jon is still here. Can I get a hearty "PRAISE GOD!!" Had the enemy had his way, he would have stolen our hope, killed our commitment, and destroyed our marriage. But God... I think those are two of my favorite words in Scripture. But God stepped in and started tearing down and building... and He's never stopped tearing down and building. Jon is the only person with skin on that has the same context of family rituals, vacations, memories, dreams, struggles, relationships, churches. We've walked together, taught together, learned together, raised kids together, hiked together, fought together, travelled together, prayed together, worshipped together, loved together, built this nest together.
My nest isn't empty because I share it with my best friend.
And finally, I'm never alone. I sat at lunch today (seemingly by myself), but like the little 5-year-old, incessantly chatting about the state of my day and the state of my heart. Father sat with easy delight, listening to me, "yesing" me, and loving me. For a few moments, I switched places with my children. Lord, thank you for blessing and keeping us. Thank you for making Your face to shine upon us and for being so incredibly gracious to us. Thank you for turning Your face toward us. Thank you for Your peace. I thanked Him for filling my nest with His presence, and then I once again committed my "nest" back to Him for His use and for His glory. Frankly, I've been a steward of the nest... so really it's not up to me whether it is full or empty. It is full because God doesn't really do empty. In His presence is fullness of joy... for of His fullness we have all received and grace upon grace... His right hand is full of righteousness...He is full of grace and truth... He is full of compassion... He is full of glory... and out of His fullness, He fills us with His presence, with joy, with wisdom, with knowledge, with faith, with power, with assurance, with grace, with love... His fullness is the fullest and we are abundantly filled. No empty nest here...
My nest isn't empty because He has filled it with Himself.
Copyright 2011 Sharon Denise Dorminy
2 comments:
I needed this post today! With two leaving home and the younger two in high school, I look toward the empty nest with so much anxiety. This is a much more peaceful way...and from someone that has been there. God bless!
Lovely, just lovely.
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