My feet are freezing! It's supposed to be "spring" and my feet haven't caught up. From where I sit, I can see the first buds of the tulip tree in my backyard. (I love that tree - it told me today that it misses it's hammock - *hint to that man of mine...) The sun is out, the daffodils are thrilled (the ones in the backyard), and it's really lovely... and quite deceptive. Like I said, my feet are freezing!
All the signs point to spring. Outward indications of something yet to come. My soul is like that sometimes. All the indications on the outside crying out "new", but inside cold and hard. I hate that, don't you? I strive to let the inside be what's on the outside - hypocrisy is cancerous. But when we're cold on the inside, we like others to think that "spring" has come because it's supposed to be here.
All the scriptures that leap off the page of late seem to have gardening terms in them. Cracks me up because I kill everything green I'm responsible for. I killed a cactus because I didn't water it - ever. That's just one of many confessions of "planticide" I could make. Getting back to the point... I recently did a workshop at a local ladies retreat. I had to laugh. Their theme was "How Does Your Garden Grow?" After my teaching time, I was fortunate to attend someone elses workshop - a friend of mine had brought some plants from the plant farm she manages. I was dumbfounded at the info she carries between her ears. Reminded me of a doctor - "You have viral rhinitis." What the heck is that? "A cold." I was told that my "narcissus" in the front yard are stretching and that is why near the end of the day they are falling forward like they're top heavy. Daffodils. (I promise I'm getting to a point... hang in there with me.)
There are a few different versions of the fable of "Narcissus". One of them is about a man who loved himself so much and thought himself so beautiful that he sat at a pool of water, staring at his reflection, until he faded away and became a flower - a daffodil. Narcissistic Narcissus. (For fun say that one 5x's fast!) Another fable says he stared so long at his reflection that he was drawn forward and drowned. My friend Tammy says that daffodils need full sunlight. If they don't get it, they will stretch for it. That's why my narcissus is falling face down.
And finally the point. Cold feet - cold heart. What is the problem? Why does the ground of our heart get so cold and hard? There are any number of reasons, but I just want to bring up one. Maybe we've been staring at our own reflection too long. Maybe we get so "me" focused that we fall into the pool of our own self-worship and drown. Maybe we just fade away and the ground we were meant to thrive in becomes a frozen wasteland.
I submit that daffodils should always be called daffodils. They had a name change for a reason. They've learned not to dwell on self. Rather when they get cold, they stretch toward the sun for warmth and nourishment. What's the remedy for a heart that longs for spring, but seems to cling to winter? Stretch, child! Stretch! Turn your face toward the Son and stretch until the light of His face warms you. We may have to stretch until we fall face down, but when morning comes, the full light of the Son will cause us to stand.
And like the daffodils in the backyard that seem to "thrill", even in the coldsnaps, we'll have pliable, warm soil to grow in. What's inside will be seen on the outside. Spring without the cold feet.
Copyright 2008 Sharon Denise Dorminy
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Inquiring Minds
We have a feast every Sunday at our house at 4:00 pm. Lots of meat... lots of fruit... Everyone arrives hungry and everyone leaves full. And everyone comes back the next Sunday with a longing for a repeat.
Sundays at 4:00 is our small group. It was started by an inquisition. Jonathon had reached the ethereal realm between sunday school pabulum and seminary steak. He had a host of questions and couldn't find a balanced meal to satisfy. Apparently he wasn't the only one.
I don't know what made me or even Jonathon think that I was up to the task. Their questions are beyond me. The answers further still. I sensed an urgency in him and the others that tugged so severely at me that, without obeying my screaming inadequacies, I agreed to lead. We've covered some of the huge foundation blocks of faith: origin of sin, slavery of sin, sovereignty of God, election, justification and imputation, Spiritual gifts, etc. And then one of the young men in our group proposed a topic: prayer. When asked "why prayer?", he responded with a question: "If God knows what we need and has a plan for us, won't He work out His plan without us asking? Why ask?" It's not a new question, but an ever perplexing one. I agreed it was a wonderful topic... and then discussions began. No one realized how much the topic of prayer can be so wrapped up in the sovereignty of God and the free will of man.
I bring this up because these "kids" have reminded me of something crucial. We really need to know not only what we believe, but why we believe it. We need to have a smart faith, not a blind one. As I've prepared to lead them, my goal has been not so much to preach, but to guide. In doing that, I've examined and reexamined my own belief system. I found a few blocks that were a tad askew. Sometimes we believe what we are taught without using the plumbline of Scripture. Sometimes we believe a doctrine because it's the more comfortable one. Some of the truths in God's word unsettle us and we choose to simplify God rather than magnify His mystery.
I'm not afraid to say "I don't know" or "I'm not sure". Sometimes my sons view that as a "copout", but it's not a copout when your "I don't know" is based upon an already ardent search for truth. I can stand in what may look like a "gray" area to some, but to me it is black and white: This is holy ground, a mystery, and I can trust Him anyway. Maybe that's where I stand in prayer. My prayers tug at the heart of God. God is sovereign and has a plan. God demands that I have faith, that I believe Him. God still knows what I need before I ask. God says sometimes I have not because I ask not. God says sometimes I ask with wrong motives. God says that we receive all that we ask in His name. It's all true all at once. That's not gray. It's truth. And it's mysteriously wonderful. "I don't know" and yet, "I know."
I continue to seek God about the things I don't understand. I am by design a student of the word - God wired me that way. I love the taste of fresh bread and cool gulps of living water. And occasionally I get a "brain freeze." But as we're feasting Sunday nights, I pray that God will satisfy their soul with His word and never satisfy their godly curiosity. I pray they will know what they believe and stand ready to proclaim both by the word and in their experience, why they believe what they believe. And more than all of that, they'll proclaim with boldness WHO they believe and why they believe Him.
Copyright 2008 Sharon Denise Dorminy
Sundays at 4:00 is our small group. It was started by an inquisition. Jonathon had reached the ethereal realm between sunday school pabulum and seminary steak. He had a host of questions and couldn't find a balanced meal to satisfy. Apparently he wasn't the only one.
I don't know what made me or even Jonathon think that I was up to the task. Their questions are beyond me. The answers further still. I sensed an urgency in him and the others that tugged so severely at me that, without obeying my screaming inadequacies, I agreed to lead. We've covered some of the huge foundation blocks of faith: origin of sin, slavery of sin, sovereignty of God, election, justification and imputation, Spiritual gifts, etc. And then one of the young men in our group proposed a topic: prayer. When asked "why prayer?", he responded with a question: "If God knows what we need and has a plan for us, won't He work out His plan without us asking? Why ask?" It's not a new question, but an ever perplexing one. I agreed it was a wonderful topic... and then discussions began. No one realized how much the topic of prayer can be so wrapped up in the sovereignty of God and the free will of man.
I bring this up because these "kids" have reminded me of something crucial. We really need to know not only what we believe, but why we believe it. We need to have a smart faith, not a blind one. As I've prepared to lead them, my goal has been not so much to preach, but to guide. In doing that, I've examined and reexamined my own belief system. I found a few blocks that were a tad askew. Sometimes we believe what we are taught without using the plumbline of Scripture. Sometimes we believe a doctrine because it's the more comfortable one. Some of the truths in God's word unsettle us and we choose to simplify God rather than magnify His mystery.
I'm not afraid to say "I don't know" or "I'm not sure". Sometimes my sons view that as a "copout", but it's not a copout when your "I don't know" is based upon an already ardent search for truth. I can stand in what may look like a "gray" area to some, but to me it is black and white: This is holy ground, a mystery, and I can trust Him anyway. Maybe that's where I stand in prayer. My prayers tug at the heart of God. God is sovereign and has a plan. God demands that I have faith, that I believe Him. God still knows what I need before I ask. God says sometimes I have not because I ask not. God says sometimes I ask with wrong motives. God says that we receive all that we ask in His name. It's all true all at once. That's not gray. It's truth. And it's mysteriously wonderful. "I don't know" and yet, "I know."
I continue to seek God about the things I don't understand. I am by design a student of the word - God wired me that way. I love the taste of fresh bread and cool gulps of living water. And occasionally I get a "brain freeze." But as we're feasting Sunday nights, I pray that God will satisfy their soul with His word and never satisfy their godly curiosity. I pray they will know what they believe and stand ready to proclaim both by the word and in their experience, why they believe what they believe. And more than all of that, they'll proclaim with boldness WHO they believe and why they believe Him.
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