First of Many Firsts

I love water. Fountains, streams, falls, lakes, rain... but I hate to swim. I took swimming lessons when I was 6. I stunk at it. It wasn't the inability to kick or float. I simply couldn't stand my face in the water. I was certain that "face under water" meant "whole body drowns". I couldn't even blow bubbles without panicking. You can laugh. Everybody's got a fear. I discovered the key to all my fears much later. It wasn't really the fear of drowning... (though that was part of it) it was the fear of firsts. Do you ever fear doing something the first time - you know... something you've never done before. Every first was a fear for me. I've often wondered if that's true for everyone. I must have thought that some things, like swimming, would always feel like a first because I would never get the hang of it. Though that's true for me and water that's above my waist, it's not true of every first.

But here I am again. Another first. A website - a new ministry - a new stage of life. The rush of fear that comes with the first of many firsts. And then God whispered to me today, "Denise, this is not My first time." Made me grin.

He brought up Joshua and the number of times God instructed him not to fear. Wonder if Joshua had a fear of water or a fear of firsts? Maybe a fear of failure... rejection... or maybe just a fear of the giants on the other side of the river. Just the same: fear. And a first of many firsts. Some little priest had to stick his big toe in the river before anyone else. Would love to know that guy's name. One step of faith parted a river. One first faith trumped the first fear. And every first fear after that. You see, it's not God's first time. He's parted a river before - even for Joshua.

This is just another first of many firsts that God has already faced on my behalf. I'm not much for diving in... it's my personality to inch down the stairs on the 3' side of the pool and move to the deep slowly. But maybe the call is to the deep... to just climb the high dive, take the leap and trust the Lifeguard for the next breath. What can I lose? The most I can lose is another first that becomes a second that becomes a third... that becomes a victory over fear. Yeah, according to Father, this is the first of many firsts and the first of many victories. Hope you'll swim with us...


Copyright 2007 Sharon Denise Dorminy